The Novel of My Life

I have decided to write about why I write in my journal. There is a story about that. Back in the eighth grade, my mom suggested the idea to me. She told me to keep a journal. I forgot why she did so. Over the past four and a half years, I have kept my journal. I am incredibly glad that I have done so, for various reasons.

At first, I kept a day-to-day chronicle of my life. I steadily and consistently sat down and wrote every night. Then, in November 2007, I forgot my journal in West Virginia. After I got it back a month later, I restarted my daily musings, but soon thereafter I began the practice of only writing when something changes or something interesting happens. Whether it is a thought, a feeling, an event, or an action, it only gets in there if I think it worthy. It shall stay that way forevermore. 

Keeping a journal is fascinating. It is a great way to practice my writing skills. I thoroughly enjoy the process. It is also a great way of expressing thoughts and emotions that are better left unsaid to others. In that book, there are some things that shall not see the light of day until I find someone to share my secrets, and everything else with. Some of the things in there would totally change some of your thoughts about me.

My journal is also a great way of looking back on my life. In retrospect, some of the things that have occurred in my past are absolutely hilarious. Upon rereading my past, I go “I thought that?” or “Is that really what happened?” or “Haha, I did some funny things.” It is quite an enriching experience to look back and see things from an objective point of view. 

A journal is also a great means of sharing your life with others. One day, when I have a family I could say, “Look at what daddy did in High School” or “Here, I wrote about the first time I saw your mother.” It is things like that which truly make the past come alive. My journal is also a way of sealing the past in stone. When something was written at the original time of occurrence, you cannot deny that such was the way things happened.

In conclusion, keeping a journal has been one of my biggest interests. It is quite an enriching experience to view the past with a fresh eye. Some things in there surprise me, even now. When I reread my journal, it’s like reading a novel. The only difference is that this novel is a fact, and the main character is you. Having that objective point of view really helps one understand oneself in ways that are harder for those who did not keep a record of their life. I will definitely continue to write, until I am on my death bed, no matter how many marble notebooks it takes.

Forgiveness: a Test of Character

The term “forgiveness” is not something that is really open to interpretation. Forgiveness is the act of forgiving someone. There’s not really much else to be said about its actual meaning. What is open to interpretation is how far forgiveness goes, when it is logical to forgive, how many times to forgive, etc.

I have always been a very forgiving person. I am willing to give second chances, third chances, or more. It has always been my view that everyone has good in them. As such, I am prone to overlook wrong doings. Unless the act is done for purely amoral purposes, there is always a chance that I will forgive it. That fact, coupled with my trusting nature, results in a policy of forgiveness for me.

I have forgiven many things in my life. Some were big. Others were small.  Small things such as insults and being annoyed by someone are things that are easily forgiven, and I have forgiven many such things. I will forgive small things an almost infinite number of times, because they are small. Assuming they even phase me at all, of course.

Larger things, however, can take a bit more willpower to forgive. Things like physical harm and harm to my property may make me angry. If they do, the offender may or not need to remedy the harm before I forgive them. It all depends on circumstances. If you steal money from me, I will be angry at first. If that money was going to be for something important, I would not be likely to forgive you unless: a) it works out anyway or b) you repay me. If any of those two things are true, I will forgive you. If neither of them is true, don’t expect an “It’s okay” from me. If you steal money from me, but it’s not for anything important, I will not be too affected, and therefore I will forgive you.

If you physically harm me, my tolerance also depends on circumstances. If it was an accident, I would forgive you right away, and kindly ask if you could help me out. Whether you say yes or no, I will still forgive you, since it was an accident. Such would be the case unless my medical bills are far out of my range. If that is the case, I will still forgive you, but I will take you to court, out of necessity. If you harm me on purpose, I am not likely to forgive you at all. No matter what you do, if you harm me intentionally, I will not forgive you unless you had a VERY good reason to injure me (there are such cases, though they are rare).

Finally, there are things which I will never forgive. I will never forgive acts of unspeakable evil. Things such as irreparable psychological damage, rape, murder, molestation, theft from the people, and other such heinous crimes shall never be forgiven by me, unless a) they are done to someone who is equally amoral or b) they are done for a very moral cause (only applicable for murder and theft from the people). If a) is true, then I will sympathise, but I will not forgive you unless the crime was murder or theft from the people. If b) is true, I will forgive you.

Forgiving is not something that people do a lot. True forgiveness takes a heart of gold and a will of steel. If you can take a wrong done to you, accept it, then forgive it, you are showing true character and wisdom. Only the strongest souls are able to get over something and forgive it. As Avatar Aang wisely said, “It’s easy to do nothing. It’s hard to forgive.”

On my Inner Peace

This blog shall be about something I have mentioned in class before: Inner Peace. I know it seems like a big statement, but the truth is, I have found my Inner Peace. You might have seen glimpses of my peaceful nature in other blogs, but not realised it.

I have been through quite a lot in my seventeen and a half years on this planet. You know this from my occasional papers. Everything I have gone through- every hardship and every challenge- has taught me the best way for me to live my life. I have gained much harmony, knowledge, and wisdom from my experiences, and these things have brought me to a state of constant serenity.

The challenges I have overcome have taught me many things. I have gained the ability to live in harmony, regardless of how tough a situation is. I am accepting of anything that may happen, and have even accepted the possibility of pain and death when necessary. Nothing can cause me to lose touch with my physical harmony.

Between school and reading books, I have gained the knowledge necessary to live my life well. I am very logical and, with the help of my physical harmony, I am able to think clearly, even in times of crisis. I have learned how to use knowledge at times when it is most affective, and I have reached a state of mental clarity that is hard to break.

My life has also given me the tool called wisdom. Wisdom allows me to live my life in the best way that I can. Mental clarity and physical harmony have given me the ability to analyse my life objectively, and glean the wisdom to continue living in a peaceful harmonious manner. Wisdom teaches me to stay mentally focused and physically prepared no matter what, and allows me to deal with tough situations. Through physical harmony, mental clarity, and pure wisdom, I have found the time to meditate on my place in the Universe. I have learned who I am, and found my place in everything. I am completely attuned to my life and everything in it, and have accepted things far beyond my reckoning. I have achieved Inner Peace.

So what is Inner Peace like? It is… incredible. I am at a loss for words when describing it. It just feels like a deep serenity pierces me to the very core of my being. Nothing can ever faze me. The Universe cannot get me down. I have accepted every possibility in life, and prepared my soul for anything that comes. My Peace can never be shattered. I may be angry for a moment, but only at the surface. My Inner Peace remains intact, and as a result, I quickly get over whatever was bugging me. There is nothing bad enough to harm my Inner peace, and as a result, I feel eternally blissful. It is an empty feeling, true enough. But it is not a lonely emptiness, like the sucking void of a black hole. It is a happy emptiness, like that of a sunny forest with no people in it. I am always free of stress, to the point where I do not worry about getting anything done (which is why my grades are slipping). Inner Peace has made my life simple. It is a wonderful thing, Inner Peace, and I hope that one day you can feel it yourself.

Childhood Flights of Fancy

 In our youth, we have all had our many flights of fancy. From imagining far-out adventures, to simply wondering about the ideal future, we have all spent time thinking over numerous fantasies.

What are some of your childhood fantasies? Maybe you’ve imagined what it would be like to be with a crush. Perhaps you’ve imagined what would happen if you had superpowers. It might just be that you have had rather mundane fantasies, such as what would happen if you made a specific choice. Or maybe you’ve simply pondered what your perfect future would be like.

We all have our fantasies, and they’re different from person to person. What are some of your flights of fancy? Write about it.

Death: the Force that Mankind Fears

Ah, death. It is one of life’s mysteries that humanity shall never truly understand. We can do our best to speculate about it, but in the end, we shall never know for sure until we cross life’s final bridge, and move on to the other side.

From that little blurb, you have probably gleaned some of my beliefs. I am a devout Christian, so I do indeed believe in the immortality of the soul. Though our bodies may wither and decay, our soul shall live on. Our soul shall move onto the afterlife, and we shall be in a happier place. I am different from other Christians in that I do not believe in hell. Hell is a myth created by the Church to scare people into conversion. That begs the question though: if hell does not exist, then where do evil people go after death? Here is where my beliefs leap far beyond what my faith preaches.

I believe in reincarnation. I think that, if you are bad in this life, you are forced to live again and again until you right your wrongs. I also believe that if you were good in this life, you have a choice. I believe that you can choose to live again, to continue growing your soul, or you could simply move onto Heaven. You may also choose precisely what you want to live as.

Of course, this is only if you are pure in your life. Otherwise, the Almighty Judge decides what to do with you. He is a merciful God, so only the truest sinners are forced into a bad position, but I also believe that, if you have not reached a spiritual enlightenment, He will try His hardest to convince you to live again, that you may become a more complete soul. He cares about our spiritual well-being, and I know that the Father will care for us when we come into His presence, and do what is best for our soul. He is the final Judge, and He judges well.

Now, there has been some controversy with regards to me, in that I do not fear death. All of my friends, save Kevin Meeker, doubt that I am sincere, and many people take offense that I see a fear of death as illogical. The truth is, I do not fear death because it is completely normal. No one can avoid it. It is simply a natural part of the cycle of life. Yet, most of humanity fears death, and I think I know why.

Fear of death has two root causes that have been part of the human mentality since our very dawn. Mankind, being the control freaks we are, fear that which we cannot control. Man seeks to dominate everything, but death is not something that we can conquer. We may delay it, and evade it, but in the end we are all destined to succumb to it. People do not like this fact.

The other cause of this fear is the fear of the unknown. Humans wish to know everything about the Universe, but we can never learn about death. We may learn how it occurs, and how to delay it, but we will never know what happens after. We will never understand the spiritual aspect of death, and most people find that as disturbing as not being able to stop death.

Therefore, fear of death is illogical. We cannot control it, and we cannot understand it. Death covers both of mankind’s deepest rooted fears, and there is nothing we can do about it. I have accepted the mysterious, irresistible force known as death, and as a result, I do not fear it. If more people accepted death, problems like overpopulation, super-viruses, and world hunger would be lessened, if not completely nonexistent. If we accept the fact that we are not masters of the Universe, we would be a much more complacent species. Alas, mankind is stubborn, and fear of death will continue as long as mankind exists, illogical though it may be.

The Personality of Personal Space

Ah, my bedroom. My bedroom is a safe little haven that helps me get away from the world. As you may recall from my isolation blog, I enjoy being alone. It helps me relax, and reflect on life. My mother and step-father both know that I like alone time, so they always try and give me the room that’s a little isolated. They succeeded in doing so for my present house.

My room is a little off to the side. It is on top of two steps, which are in a little mini-stairwell. Those two little steps in the little stairwell are all that connect me to the rest of the house.  On top of those two steps is the door leading to my room, which is separate from the rest of the house. My door has a lock on it. My room is the perfect secluded little hideaway.

When you enter my room, you’ll notice two things. For one, you’ll realise that my room is fairly small. The second thing you’ll notice is that I have a large book case filled with books of all sorts. It is not very wide, but it is quite tall, and absolutely loaded. There are books of all kinds on it. This variety stands as a reminder that I enjoy balance in every aspect of my life. It also shows my thirst for knowledge and wisdom.

The next thing you are likely to notice is that my room is very simple, as far as customisation goes. There are only a few things on my walls, all of it being self-made, save my two calendars and the border. I have seven main works of art.  There is a tribal mask which is used in a South American house-warming ritual. There can also be seen an optical illusion above my bed. These are mere decoration, and only represent me insofar as the mask represents my love of other cultures and the optical illusion represents my love of… optical illusions. My most truly representative pieces are much more… representative.

There is a picture of orange lilies floating on water. It is a tessellation, and I made it to represent the element of water. Behind my door is a picture of a bandicoot. I painted the background green to represent the element of earth, and the bandicoot is made entirely in earth-related colours. Plus, I love bandicoots. I have a picture of a breathtaking scene of some lava falls, made only with different shades of red-orange. I made this to represent the element of fire, and the fact that beauty is found in unexpected places, even in Nature’s dead zones. The next picture on the wall is a storm, consisting entirely of words in different colours. I made it to represent the element of air, which I highlighted by making half of the picture clouds. It is also another example of my love of Nature’s beauty.

Then, there is my masterpiece. It is a mandala. The tradition of mandala has its roots in Tibet, where Buddhist monks would draw a symbol in the sand, to aid in meditation. My mandala is loaded with Balance symbolism. I show two examples of each element in the picture. In the center is a Yin Yang, which is a Taoist symbol that means Harmony and Balance. Guthix (Guthix) is written four times in Matoran and isorropia (Greek for Balance) is similarly written four times in Greek (The Greek symbols didn't copy over. Strangely, the fake language did. Go figure.) . In addition to the Balance symbolism, you may also notice the gold background which represents Truth. The Third Eye symbol, which represents wisdom, can also be seen several times along the outer edge, painted in indigo to stimulate the Third Eye Chakra, which deals with wisdom. My mandala is a perfect symbol of Balance, which is why it holds the top position: above my head while I sleep.

Aside from my paintings, the décor in my room is very simple. This matches me in that I do not care about material things. There is so much clutter in our everyday lives, but almost none of it is necessary. Toys, games, technology, and knick-knacks are all unnecessary, and I could easily do without them. This allows me to keep my room simple. Sure, there are a couple of things, but I have very few belongings compared to most people. Clutter distracts the mind, and interferes with our mental clarity. As such, I have kept my room fairly clear of it. This also applies to the neatness of my room. My room is one of the neatest rooms in my house. I try to keep it clean because, as my mom put it, “A clean room is a happy room.” I couldn’t agree more. There is, of course, some chaos as well. Nobody is perfect. However, I like how my room is. It’s not too messy. It’s not unnaturally clean. It is a perfect balance of both, which reflects me as well.

Anyway, you asked if a room reflects ones personality. From my analysis of my own room, and what I’ve seen of other people’s rooms, I would say that it certainly does. As long as other people don’t interfere with our personal space, it will almost always show our true nature. My room is isolated, and I like to be alone. My room is knowledgeable, and I thirst for knowledge. My room is simple, and I love simplicity. My room is balanced, just as I am. Does a room reflect our personality? Absolutely.

Wisdom: the One True Knowledge

People always misunderstand wisdom. Some might call school knowledge wisdom. These people are horribly mistaken. Knowing the difference between World War I and World War II, that is knowledge. Knowing how to prevent another World War, that is wisdom. People think that, if they go to school a few hours a day, they suddenly become the Buddha, or Kung Fu’tse. These people are fools.

Wisdom can not be learned from a teacher, nor can it be learned from a book. True wisdom, the useful kind of wisdom, can only be gleaned from one’s own life experiences. Only by living our lives and going through various things can we obtain the toolkit for life known as wisdom.

Some people think that knowing a bunch of quotes constitutes wisdom. These people are fools as well. Quotes themselves do not constitute wisdom. Knowing the meaning of quotes is what makes them useful. Saying a quote without knowing the meaning is like saying a word without knowing what it means. It is the same thing with philosophy books. If you have not had any experience that relates to the message of the book, the book is useless, because without experience, you have no idea what the book is talking about. The fact of the matter is that, wisdom can only be gained from life experience. If you think otherwise, you are thoroughly unwise.

I have discussed what wisdom is not. Now I shall discuss what it is.  Wisdom is having the knowledge and tools to succeed in life. Knowledge is a part of wisdom. Having knowledge informs you of others’ experiences, giving you more to learn from. Knowledge gives you the bare bones to build off of. Wisdom gives you the power to use knowledge the right way, and understand how to apply knowledge to everyday life.

That is not to say that knowledge is required for wisdom. Someone who has never been to school can have to wisdom. Someone who has failed every class can have wisdom. Good grades, fancy degrees, and employment positions do not make wisdom. Anyone who has had an important life experience is bound to have wisdom, and you can have a life experience before achieving anything.

I know a few people who have much wisdom. I have always considered myself wise. My friend Sara has wisdom, as does my other friend Liz. What do we have in common? We have all had important experiences at young ages. Why do I think we are wise? I consider myself wise because every time I have given advice to someone, they called me wise. I think Liz is wise because she has had to make some tough decisions, yet she always made the right choice in the end, improving her life, and the lives of others. I think Sara is wise because she has always given good advice, and made good choices. She has shown her wisdom by balancing her life, spreading her focus over different areas of her life at the same time.

All of us are young, but I do not think that age matters when talking about wisdom. That is a common stereotype that needs to go away. As long as someone has had experiences in their life, and has learned something from those experiences, they have wisdom. It does not matter if they had the experience when they were two or twenty, so long as they had it, and learned from it.

Wisdom and knowledge are completely different things, and you are a fool if you get them confused. Knowledge is gained from books, and loses its value once you are older and start reflecting on life. Wisdom is gained from life experiences, and its value is eternal. When you reach a crossroads in your life, it will not help you to know who killed Abraham Lincoln. Knowledge is useless without the wisdom needed to handle it. If you are book smart, but lack wisdom, you will fail at life. Wisdom is the important thing in the end. Knowledge will not help you at times when you need the most help. Only wisdom can help you in your times of direst need. If you understand this statement and accept it, you are on your way towards wisdom.