Anger, Anger, Anger

I am not one to get easily angered. I know from reading Japanese philosophical works, and from experience, that anger clouds one’s thoughts, impairs judgment, and angers others. However, if you want to get me angered quickly, you need only say something woefully intolerant or ignorant, and I will immediately begin furiously listing reasons as to why they are incorrect. The longer you continue speaking ignorantly, the angrier I get. I may begin shouting in extreme cases. In extreme cases, mind you. I cannot stand people who hate others without any justification, but I know that shouting reduces my credibility, so I take a deep breath and form a logical argument, angry though I may be. Sadly, people won’t be swayed from their ignorance most of the time.

The other thing that sets me off is spite. For example, when I am playing a game of Risk with my father, I usually win. My father hates losing. As the game nears the end, he attacks furiously, even though I always go easy on him, and show mercy. He never shows the same courtesy. However, when I am not courteous, he quits. His spite angers me, but I calm myself in this case, because by returning the anger and spite, I am stooping to his level.

Whenever I get angry, I take a deep breath, and remind myself that anger clouds the mind, and then my anger is controlled. I then use the energy from my anger to solve the situation. Knowing how to transform anger from an impediment into an asset is a useful skill to have, and I thank the teachings of Yagyu Munenori and Miramoto Musashi for it. I would not be the person I am without the ability to control my anger, and utilise it in an efficient manner.

I do not remember any outbursts in particular. I had so many outbursts up to a couple of years ago. Then I learned how to control my Asperger’s Sydrome. I haven’t had any outbursts since then. I am thankful for this, because anger only has bad effects, if you do not know how to control it. I got into frequent trouble in middle school, because my anger was out of control. Now my anger is an asset rather than an obstacle.

I would advise anyone with anger issues to read some philosophical, and self-help works. I would recommend The Book of Five Rings by Miramoto Musashi and The Book on Family Traditions and the Art of War by Yagyu Munenori. Both have whole chapters about the things that cloud thought, and impede your ability to perform tasks efficiently, and give great advice on how to get rid of these “sicknesses.” Anger is discussed explicitly, and the books helped me overcome my anger issue, and turn anger into a strength, rather than a weakness. They are great books and definitely make one a better person all around. I would advise anyone interested in improving themselves, their life, and the world around them to read these books.

Re: Friends, in Number

It can be very useful to have a large number of friends, if they actually care. However, if they are "almost friends" as you say, then they are as good as having no friends at all.

Having many friends, and having good friends both have their advantages. Having a lot of almost friends can be better for your self esteem than only having a couple of good friends. Having almost friends provides a large pool of friends to pick some good friends. Finally, having many friends may pay off in times of crisis, with incredible emphasis on the “may.”  As such, good friends are much more likely to help, so the choice is clear.

It is better to have a couple of good friends, rather than many almost friends. Good friends are always there. Whether you need someone to hang out with, tell a secret to, or even ask for help if you need it, a friend is always willing to help, no matter the situation. Are almost friends likelier to hang with you, or are they more likely to hang with their real friends? Is it smart to tell an almost friend a secret? Assuming they’ll listen at all? Do almost friends give you advice, or help you in times of crisis? These things may apply to almost friends occasionally, but not often. Why would you even contemplate having a large circle of almost friends over having a circle of good friends?

In my case, I am blessed enough to have many, good friends. All of my friends are very good, and without them my life would be terrible. My friends helped me overcome the social limitations caused by my autism. Without my friends, the fire which burned down my house on June 15, 2011, a year and 4 months ago, would have been infinitely more devastating, and much harder to recover from. I have received advice on numerous occasions that helped me deal with emotional issues. They have been there for me through thick and thin, and I am happy to know them.

I am lucky enough to have many good friends, but if I had to choose, I would choose to have a circle of good, true friends rather than surrounding myself with many people whom I hardly know. Having many friends is good for self esteem, but not much else. Good friends are there for you when you need it, therefore, it is better to have a few good friends than an enormous number of “almost friends.”

Emily Dickinson once said, “My friends are my estate.” When she says this, she conveys the message that friends are one of the most important things that one can have in life. I couldn’t agree more. However, one must choose the right kind of friends. While it is good to have many almost friends, in the end, you’ll wish that you had taken the time to get to know some of them better. After all, if you don’t know them, how are they your friends?